So my last post was something of a teaser. As you can imagine, I've had a lot going on in my life. I know Jaz and Sasha, I have been somewhat neglectful in my juicy stories. But I am honestly trying to piece together the last few evens of my own life. I have however made a decision to commit to this new lifestyle. I am genuinely interested in women. This exploration of myself is allowing me to see the world in such a light as I have never seen it before. I see myself in a light that has never been cast upon me before all of this. So here is my declaration to my self and my sexuality. I know many will not agree, maybe even most. But here I am.

I am looking forward to this journey and what it has in store. Aren't you glad that you can be a fly on this wall!

(...V...)

My Confession

I know my posts have been scarce. But I just want to get this off my chest. I have to confess. This is a video confession.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-K1y4xoyJg

Hey There

Good Morning,

Wow it feels like I haven't been on here in forever. But I promise that I have a good excuse. I'll get into some of that in a minute.

I just want to say thank you to our new followers. THANKS! So moving on...

In the span of about a week or so I have decided to get a divorce, moved back in with my parents, discovered a little tidbit of interesting information about myself, and lied more than I have in possibly the last 2 years put together.

I will spare you all of the boring details. But I will let you know that I have since decided against getting a divorce. Well I told my SO that if he wanted me back he would have to come to my parents house and get all of my shit himself! ... I'm still at my parents house and I'm not trying to make this an easy transition for him.

Why no divorce? Well some things came up while I was away with a little venture that he had been entertaining for a while and I figure that it may just be lucrative for me to stay just a bit longer. Now I'm not a gold digger by any means. Shit after 5 years, a baby, and all of his drama... I deserve more than just half of all his debt if we split. Damn.

I may have a super secret that I want to let out in the next few days or weeks. It is sooo hard to keep but I'm just not quite comfortable yet with letting the cat out of the bag. Maybe a little encouragement from a few extra followers would help?

(...V...)

Breaking News: Where is Our Country headed?

Wow!
Afternoon honey bunches...so I just read something truly and UTTERLY DISTURBING!!!!!!!
That's all I'ma say.... well actually let me say more to fill u in:
OK...There's this guy named Rush Limbaugh who has a radio show and he was speaking on a specific topic involving an incident where a Caucasian boy was beaten by two African American students on a school bus. Basically a school fight broke out on the bus 1 day after school.
The police stated that this was not a racially invoked incident but of course Rush Limbaugh being a very conservative, VERY Republican, Jim Crow Minded, Pompest BIGGET thought otherwise.
He feels racism is inborn just as some individuals think homosexuality is inborn. He argues if people can accept homosexuality why not accept racism as well....SMH....
U know the truly disturbing part about this...is that so many people we encounter in our everyday lives secretly have minds like this. I question a lot of people I encounter nowadays...
Click here for the full story including audio clip from his radio show

Behind the Glamour Life

Next topic:

Wow little Judy from Family Matters gone wild! I am going to have to be EXTREMELY careful getting into this music/entertainment business b/c Hollywood glam is not really what the cameras portray it to be. Be sure to catch Jaimee Foxworth on “Life After” this Sept. 20 @ 10pm on TVOne where she will discuss her personal role and the events which led to her involvement in the Adult Entertainment industry.

Click here for a sneak peek.

And my girl V recently showed me a clip from Maia Cambell while she was on drugs and into prostitution...wow it really got to me. These r beautiful women..its sad how life behind the glamour can really take a turn for the worst...

Click here for more
catch ya l8tr 4 now!

Out with the OLD... In with the NEW...

SUP honies!

Yeah I have been MIA for a bit but I'm back.
Last time you heard from me you discovered that Hazel G and I were caught out. Well he''s still in his hometown right now talking things over with his parents and just clearing his head...but through it all we have still been keeping in touch. I even saw him 1 night unexpectantly after work before he left for Baltimore...long story.
When everything happend, I ended up having a mild mental breakdown. I was emotionally depressed. Mentally empty. My heart ached. I wasnt able to eat or sleep much...it really tore me up. Hazel helped lift my spirits basically begging me to believe him when he says nothing is my fault. He said the situation was bound to happen.
So NOW I do feel a lot better about the situation. I've prayed on it...He's been praying on it and basically, we are moving on with our lives. That's right OUR lives.
I'm not sure what to call our relationship yet b/c he's been treating me like I was his girlfriend bck when we first met but now he is actually free! Im not jumping into anything right away...well hell Im already in it 4real...so I guess wht I mean is that I am going to plan my next moves with Hazel G very carefully. Take precaution.
How does he feel about everything? Well He felt the discoverment just helped break him from the bondage with old girl. He seemed to take the official breakup quite well. So...I guess now we are preparing to start a new life...with each other. This is defintley going to be hard starting out but we'll see where the road will take us.
Am I scared? Hell yeah
Am I a little skeptical of everything? Absolutely
Do I trust Him? Surprisingly yes b/c despite everything we've gone through...he has remained by my side and protected my name. He puts me first. He confessed his Love for me to shawty girl and even to his family and loved ones...He is really stepping up to the plate to show me this wasn't a sex thing, this wasn't a lover thing...this was a TRUE LOVE thing as he quotes.
I still feel sorta-kinda guilty to pursue a relationship with this man but then again I don't anymore b/c you can't help how your heart feels. I guess I feel guilty for stealing the heart of another woman's man...AGAIN...not my fault! This wasn't planned.
Well only time will tell where this will lead to. He feels I am his soulmate. Lets see if he is willing to do what it takes to keep my trust...
I must say this must be love (like Jennifer Hudson said... If this isn't Love, tell me what it is.... )

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEfgW6i1a8A&feature=PlayList&p=938222E02E243D26&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=7

cuz I have never felt OR done anything like this in my life!

QUESTON for the public: Am I wrong if I pursue a relationship with his man?

This CHIC again..Part 2

Okay HONEY...SO I can finish my story now...

So we was having our cookout and stuff in the backyard...When we went inside and began to eat...someone took a look outside and the DAMN cat was in my backyard YET AGAIN!!! This time I went and got the broom...and ran outside swinging..

WELL this chic next door is outside and has the nerve to say "Thats my cat" BITCH I KNOW..You have asked to get it out my yard, you have broken in my gate, and I have seen you outside with this PUSSY before!!! BITCH I KNOW its your cat...

AND FURTHERMORE...IF you stupid ass is standing outside why did you let the cat climb the damn fence into my yard to start with....I don't care thats it your cat..I will KILL IT!!!
(sorry I didn't say all that, I was just venting to you)
What I said to her was..."I know, but YOUR CAT has been going to the bathroom in MY YARD" and I continued to try and smack the cat with my broom...The PUSSY ran up under the fence through a tiny hole by the gate...(that the ladies damn dog has dug).
I go over and cover the hole...with a brick..THIS CHIC gonna say "Thankyou" Like I did her a fucking favor...BITCH kiss my ass and shut the HELL up!!! (Yes, I felt just like that...ya'll know what I done been thru with her)

OKAY HONEY...so the next morning...This CHIC got the nerve to try and apolo-Lie when she see me in the parking lot...CHIC, I am running late for work, and if you meant it you would have said it last night when we was both standing outside...WHATEVER>>>you just trying to say something cause both of us are outside (parked beside each other) and getting in our cars at the same time...CHIC, save your breath...I am OUT!! You are on my damn LIST!!!!

ttfn

Thanks for covering for me...

Hey Jas and Sash, I just wanted to say thanks for covering for me yesterday.

THANKS!

Just to fill everyone else in, yesterday I was all caught up and out in the open. I called in late for work and my boss and SO was searching for me! I mean seriously. I almost got caught in a few lies. I try hard not to lie in the first damn place(you know that Bitch Karma is crazy), but I sure as hell was not about to get caught up in a situation that I’m not yet ready to explain.

The situation, well let’s just say that it was worth all of yesterdays DRAMA! Now if I can only lay low and keep out of trouble and under the radar. We’ll see how that goes.

In other news…..

Did yall see what Serena Williams told one of the judges at her latest tennis match? She was Gangster. The next person to piss me off will hear

“I swear to God, I'm fucking taking this ball and I'm shoving it down your motha fucking throat."

Click here to read what happened

I am nominating that as the quote of the year!

(…V…)

Again, this chic....

OKAY HONEY...I don't have any juicy confessions like "V" or "S"...but I wanna yet again talk about my Damn neighbor..


THIS CHIC, has 2 damn dogs and a cat...As I think I discussed previously..Well on Sat morning, I was in my backyard cleaning up (cause my parents were coming to visit) and we are having a cookout on Sunday. Well I noticed the wood chips had been moved around, it looked like small sections missing.. So I went to move them back into the little spaces..I'm thinking one of my kids was outside playing...Anyway..I drag my foot across and shuffle the chips around..As I begin to walk away I feel like I am stepping on something like something is attached to my shoe..SO I get to my patio door and look down under my shoe.................................

THERE IS A THICK ASS PATCH OF CAT SHIT and wood ships ON MY SHOE!!!!



I am furious..Now remember before I told you the lady asked to come get her cat out of my yard, And I also think the lady broke into my gate once before to get her cat so I had to replace my locks, NOW I know why the little PUSSY kept comin in my damn yard in the first place....

SO I immediately take off my shoes and hobble my steaming butt, out the front door and went and knocked on my neighbors door...I know this wench heard me cause her damn dogs were barking and standing in front of the door..SO I banged for about 5 min...in this process..the dogs had stopped barking (obviously she came to the door). But this wench neva opened it...OOOOK For realll...You see me and ignore me...OK!! I got it...

I hobbled my even more enfuriated (sp) ass into the rental office which is only 2 doors down...(still with my funky shoe in my hand) and filed a complaint about the ladies cat..........
How about the rental office didn't even know the wench had a cat...>>>>>HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Got ya WENCH!!!
So while I was at it, (and since she had pissed me off) I told them about how she be having her music loud at night and my kids be trying to sleep for school, I told them how I had to knock on her door before to ask her to turn it down, and I also told them how her dogs be barking all the damn time, and that she is living with another lady (in case they didn't know that )... I mean she do live in a 1 bedroom.

I mean, for real, I ain't no
BUT the lady should have just answered the Damn door and it could have been resolved...WELL she PISSED OFF The wrong Damn neighbor!!!

There's more...but like "V" and "S"..I shall continue later.....
( I want ya'll to wait to read my stuff too..(giggle)...!)

TTFN

What You Do in the Dark...Eventually Comes To Light

This phrase is so true in every sense of its purposeful meaning.
This is a somber day for me honey bunches. Y?
Well I have to fast forward a bit of Sasha's Confessions to explain.
2day Hazel G and I have been discovered. Our Secret Love is now out in the open.
WHO discovered us? If you guess Ms. Fiance...you guessed correct!
It all started yesterday as I traveled out of town for a recording session. Since the studio is located nearby Hazel G's hometown, he asked if I could meet with him before heading back home.
I agreed but this encounter was not sexual at all guys. In fact me and Hazel G has gone through a lot 2gether in such a short period of time that we became more than lovers...we were best friends. We shared so many experiences 2gether that we would talk 4 hours & all those who really know me, know that I am NOT a phone person. But He is the only one I would talk to for long periods of time via phone.
n-e-way, I ended up cutting him off again as you'll later learn which tore Hazel G up inside again. He even revealed his dilemma to his father when seeking advice on how to cope with his loss. SO he wanted to talk to me in person once more. During this talk he expressed how he wants to be with me but needs time to sort things out at home. His son is his WORLD and if he ends the relationship, miss fiance would keep him from seeing his son. This was the big reason y he hasn't packed his things and left her yet...because of his child.
So I decided I would give him time to clear his mind...work through the situation after praying on it, and if its truly meant to be, I would wait for him...You can already tell that yes I have fallen in Love with him as well...
Anyway, today I awaken to a text message from Hazel G, stating that his lady hacked into his computer last nite using his passcode & discovered all the emails he sent me.


She saw the love poems, the songs he wrote about me...even pics of himself that he sent me. They got into a huge argument & he is texting me now saying he is on his way back to his hometown in Baltimore....
I feel so awful. He tells me not to worry b/c it was bound to happen anyway but I really feel guiltily for being the center of his affection which led to this fiasco. I pray that everything works out for him but I am also afraid of where this path will now take us. I don't think I can forgive myself if I am the blame for ruining his happy home despite how UNHAPPY it really was.
He's calling me now to try to calm me down but its hard when your mind is consumed with so much guilt and your heart is compressed with so much love for the same person.
IDK. Hazel G always told me that everything happens for a reason.... Well I'm a little curious & nervous to find out what that reason really is...

(V & J if my mood is a bit dwn 2mar @ work...u'll knw y...)